Friday, February 17th, 2006 10:37 am
Can I be honest? I have seventy-seven people on my friends list and it's partially due to this that I spend less time on LJ. I realize I'm under no obligation to post in everyone's journal yet I feel I should and will actually avoid reading journals if I feel I can't reply. This sucks. I worry that I already show partiality to certain people's journals while ignoring others and hate to think I'd inadvertanly hurt someone's feelings, in the end.

I went and looked at my Friends list, today, in hopes of finding a good ten people on there I could cut without hurting myself or them in the process and it was fruitless. Nearly every single person on my Friends list is someone I adore interacting with (even if it's only once in a while).


I love you guys and can't bear to part with any of you. :(
Friday, February 17th, 2006 03:48 pm (UTC)
it's partially due to this that I spend less time on LJ. I realize I'm under no obligation to post in everyone's journal yet I feel I should and will actually avoid reading journals if I feel I can't reply. This sucks.

What you said. I just said as much (but not so eloquently) to [ profile] caffcaff. Who doesn't love having "friends"?! Friends are great. But unfortunately, I don't read the ones I feel like I know because there are so many others. It's so nice when a friend of a friend friends you and your circle widens, but sometimes it's too wide, and then it becomes shallow.

ooh -- maybe that's what I'm going to post. Yeah right -- I don't even have time to post the 3 blog entries that are in my head NOW, let alone a crunchy one. . .
Friday, February 17th, 2006 04:30 pm (UTC)
You, my dear, are the eloquent one. Shallow or deep, I'm glad you're on my friends list.

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Friday, February 17th, 2006 03:55 pm (UTC)
I know how you feel (though not all my friends are prolific writers, thank goodness!). You can feel free to skip me anytime and only comment if you want to.

I don't know what to tell you....don't feel pressured by it -- it's for fun!!

I'd hate to not have you as my friend, but if it means you're around and I get to interact with you in mutual friends' living rooms, that'd be OK.

Hugs to you. (((((((((SpedBug))))))))))
Friday, February 17th, 2006 04:31 pm (UTC)
I'm not unfriending you(!) though I may be a not-so-involved friend from time to time. Thanks for understanding.

Friday, February 17th, 2006 04:13 pm (UTC)
I am not too worried about whether or not people reply to my posts. It's nice to have them, but some of you, like Ant, have soooo many friends that I realize I could get easily by passed. Come to think of it, I don't think you have actually replied to any of my posts ;)
Friday, February 17th, 2006 04:32 pm (UTC)
If you can just think of me as a bad boyfriend - one that ignores you and forgets to call, we'll get on great! ;)

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Friday, February 17th, 2006 04:13 pm (UTC)
Aww, we love you too, speddy!

And I don't worry about whether someone comments in my journal or not. You are free to skim or ignore at your discretion. :-)

Friday, February 17th, 2006 04:33 pm (UTC)
I have the sweetest group of friends! THanks.

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Friday, February 17th, 2006 04:31 pm (UTC)
I know exactly the feeling you are having, because I've been going through the same thing over the past several weeks. I keep hoping it will get better. It probably will.

Friday, February 17th, 2006 04:36 pm (UTC)
I tried playing the "catch-up" game and was even more disheartened at the end. My plan is to embrace my inability to read everyone on my list all the time and rely on the understanding of my friends!

(or grit my teeth and try not to whimper if they unfriend me)
Friday, February 17th, 2006 04:40 pm (UTC)
Thank you for not cutting me, sweetums. If it means staying friends with you, I'll even launder your danties.
Friday, February 17th, 2006 04:51 pm (UTC)
"I" don't seem to be in my dainties in your estimation (or imagination! Hee hee hee).

Besides, darling, we're more than friends. We're affianced!
Friday, February 17th, 2006 05:35 pm (UTC)
Oh, I know that feeling - I have had that experience too, and I also don't want to cull anyone. I feel a bit overwhelmed sometimes by my friends list, and I feel I at least have to read everyone's posts even if I don't comment, but lately I sometimes just skim read and then decide which I want to read in more detail and maybe comment on, because I really don't have time to read them all.

I now feel a bit bad because I know I write a lot of entries sometimes, but honestly I don't expect people to read all my entries. A lot of the time I'm just rambling because I like expressing myself in writing (and also now trying out my digital camera!) and I never think anyone is ignoring me if they don't comment.

Friday, February 17th, 2006 06:47 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the assurance. I would dearly love to read everyone's journal even if they are, as some have said, just daily ramblings but it's just become too overwhelming. Lately, I've had the attention span of a flea and the capacity to absorb very little "outside stimulus".

I'm not one for change and handle it poorly because I tend to spend a lot of time worrying over details and possibilities. At this moment in my life, a lot of change is happening or gearing up to happen, some out of my hands and some by choice. Hopefully, when it all settles into place, I'll be better able to focus on something outside my own little sphere of worry.
Friday, February 17th, 2006 05:36 pm (UTC)
I've made lots of posts where no-one has responded and it doesn't ruin my day or even my minute! :D

The only time I'd hope you might respond is if I'm asking for responses. Even then, I don't expect everyone on my friends' list to respond.

So don't worry about me. Read mine when you can and skip it when you're too busy. I'll love you anyway. And my LJ isn't all that interesting because I'm rarely travelling or doing anything out of the ordinaryness of my life.

Although I'm flying out to British Columbia next Tuesday for two weeks. I might have something interesting to say during that time period. We'll see.

Hugs & a big smooch! :D
Friday, February 17th, 2006 06:49 pm (UTC)
If I happen to be reading stuff on the day you mention my name or ask for a response, you can count on me to answer. Otherwise, know I'm not ignoring you, just not around.

Have fun in British Columbia!
Friday, February 17th, 2006 05:39 pm (UTC)
Speddy, I've not been posting as often, so at least there's less to read. But I do adore your posts, so please do keep me.
Friday, February 17th, 2006 06:51 pm (UTC)
Rest assured you'll remain on my list of friends. :)
Friday, February 17th, 2006 05:46 pm (UTC)
It's hard to read *every* entry on my friends' page, let alone comment, so don't worry, I understand. :) Besides, I like that people on my list can catch up with me when they have time. Life gets in the way of stuff, but I wouldn't miss it (life, that is), so I don't expect people to read/comment on my journal all of the time.
Friday, February 17th, 2006 06:55 pm (UTC)
I like, too, knowing I can remain connected with all my BC buddies just by clicking on their name, finding their last post and commenting.
Friday, February 17th, 2006 05:59 pm (UTC)
Wail! Tooth gnashment!

(LOL! I know, only kidding, it's OK!) :)
Friday, February 17th, 2006 06:57 pm (UTC)
Not dumping you, darling. Let's think of it as "standing you up". ;)

How's the avocado project going? Has it molested anyone, yet?
Friday, February 17th, 2006 06:49 pm (UTC)
Aw dead chuffed I'm still your friend. I do so know what you mean, since starting the new job I am in LJ much less, and find catching up totally daunting!! You don't have to answer this btw (one less) :))
Friday, February 17th, 2006 06:58 pm (UTC)
This is my official "non-answer".
Friday, February 17th, 2006 07:11 pm (UTC)
Like others have said already, it's perfectly okay to skim or skip. And it's definitely okay not to comment. If anyone feels slighted because you're overfriended then they're perfectly free to defriend you (yikes, that sounds painful).

All the same, it'd be great if you didn't cull your list, 'cause your posts make me giggle and I love to read them.
Friday, February 17th, 2006 07:38 pm (UTC)
I can't cull. I'm cull-challenged.

De-friending does sound a bit painful, doesn't it (and, oddly enough, reminds me of deveining shrimp) and not something in which one would take any pleasure*.

*Does anyone else's inner voice read very proper grammar in a British accent?

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Friday, February 17th, 2006 08:10 pm (UTC)
*shrinks away from the paring knife*

Friday, February 17th, 2006 08:14 pm (UTC)
You are in no danger, luv. But, I am. Hold me back from going to add more people. I just was glancing over a BC thread and saw a couple of BC people have recently joined LJ that I wouldn't mind having on my friends list. But I won't add. I won't!

Friday, February 17th, 2006 09:24 pm (UTC)

If you needed to cull me I promise I wouldn't be the least bit upset. I think I have known you the shortest amount of time of anyone here so I would be a good candidate for list shortening. 

CaffCaff just had to do the same thing (remove some people) and I told her to feel no guilt whatsoever and that I'd keep up with her when/where I could.

My friends list feels a bit scary to me some days. I am not entirely sure how it got so large so quickly but I'm not removing anyone and hope that they understand when I don't comment on everything.

Now I will tell you that you are in my "inner circle" (sorry that sounds so wrong and elitist but I didn’t know how else to phrase it!) for my very occasional locked entries of very personal stuff. I clearly label those at the top though that they are an inner circle post, so you can skip all the rest of my blather and just read the juicy bits if you want. :-)
Saturday, February 18th, 2006 01:49 pm (UTC)
That is the cutest icon! So sweet!

I'm not culling anyone but I am going to give myself more slack for not reading/answering people's journals and I'm also going to slow down the rate at which I've been friending people.

Thanks for trusting me in your "inner circle". As for sounding wrong and elitist, I may have you beat! My super private list is labelled "Inner Sanctum". ;)
Friday, February 17th, 2006 10:34 pm (UTC)
I couldn't part with you either! =)
Saturday, February 18th, 2006 01:49 pm (UTC)
Friday, February 17th, 2006 11:03 pm (UTC)
(((((((((Speddy)))))))))))))) I know what you mean - there are days when I just skim and don't comment at all. I don't mind if you don't comment on my posts, but I'd rather not be pruned :D
Saturday, February 18th, 2006 01:50 pm (UTC)
No pruning of my LJ friends tree will take place, at this time. {{{kairon}}}
Friday, February 17th, 2006 11:50 pm (UTC)
It's a pleasure to read your stuff; it's a separate pleasure posting my own stuff. I do that for me, not for the world and it doesn't break my heart if no one responds. So I'd love to stay on your list b/c I love to read your writing. You never fail to crack me up. But please don't feel obligated! I'd hate to know that I was the reason you were not enjoying yourself so much!

Ummm did that make any sense at all???
Saturday, February 18th, 2006 04:17 am (UTC)
It's a pleasure to read your stuff; it's a separate pleasure posting my own stuff.

Amyleaton, that's exactly what I was thinking. I do tend to think of it as a journal, except that it's one that I'm willing to leave lying around for others to open and read if they want to. But I'm writing it just so I can go back and remember things.

Spedbug, when you have time, I'd love for you to drop in and say hi. When you're busy, I'll understand. And I promise to try to stick the boring stuff behind lj-cuts. :-)
Saturday, February 18th, 2006 12:26 am (UTC)
I think we all get that feeling with LJ... there's just not enough time for everything, so feel free to ignore my posts :)

Saturday, February 18th, 2006 01:55 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Sirannon. I hope to read when I can and ask for updates when I'm behind.
Saturday, February 18th, 2006 12:58 am (UTC)
Love you a lot spedbug and I have been so bad having not written you in so long.
So thanks for keeping me and you are a sweetie.

Saturday, February 18th, 2006 01:57 pm (UTC)

Please don't worry about answering in my journal when you're busy. Those who are on my friends list are there because I've come to know and like them, not due to the amount of replies they post in my journal.
Saturday, February 18th, 2006 02:23 am (UTC)
Aww Speddy. If you were to cut anyone, it would probably have to be me. I expect I was the last person you friended so I would be the first to go. But I make very few entries, and probably 80% of those are memes, so they're easy to skip...and I do SO love reading your if you can, please keep me! Thanks and {{{Hugs}}},
~~~Cyn (TSC)
Saturday, February 18th, 2006 01:59 pm (UTC)
I'm keeping everyone - I just can't bear to cut anyone! I may even add new people, now and again. I'm just going to give myself permission to fall behind without the useless flagellation!
Monday, February 20th, 2006 04:10 pm (UTC)
I was just thinking the same thing recently. I wanted to pare down my friends list, but I didn't want to actually cut anybody.

*also sigh*
Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006 02:54 am (UTC)
I'm leaving mine untouched but I am going to stop adding friends, as tempting as it may be to do so. That's my "compromise".